Maypole Festival Rescheduled for May 27th

 

The Monona County Pagan Bureau has announced a new date for their annual naked Maypole dance.  Forced to cancel on May First due to unseasonable weather, the group will hold their festival this coming Monday, May 27th.

"Since Monday is Memorial Day, it is the first day that everybody could get off work," reported Perry Fard, High Priest and Recording Secretary of the Bureau.

In recognition of the day, the group will festoon the Maypole with red, white, and blue ribbons.

"We know that people of all different beliefs fought and sacrificed for our country so that we could stay a country that allows different beliefs," added Fard.

Fard expects three of the five members of the organization to participate on Monday.

"One of the Tooyah boys just had knee replacement surgery and just doesn't think he's up to all the dancing and jumping."

"Tiny Gibbsen has always been a regular member, but he's sat out the Maypole dance the last few years because of his body image issues."

First organized in 1972, the original five men of the Monona County Pagan Bureau have struggled over the years to expand their membership.

"For some reason," Fard explained, "we've always had problems attracting women to the group."

The next regular meeting of the Monona County Pagan Bureau will be held at 8:00 p.m. on June 29th in the basement of Faith Lutheran Church in Onawa.  On the agenda will be a discussion of possibly starting a Ladies Auxiliary.

Weather Impacts Area Activities

Unseasonable cold coupled with rain and snow are taking a toll on May Day activities planned for the Siouxland area.

In Onawa, the annual naked Maypole dance has been cancelled, according to Perry Fard, High Priest and Recording Secretary of the Monona County Pagan Bureau.

"This is truly disappointing", said Fard.  "This was going to be a special year, given the discovery of an ancient pagan henge in the county." (Link)

The Pagan Bureau will still hold other May Day observations, including the annual Walpurgis Night supper, catered by Staley's.  The dinner will be followed by naked bingo.

Workers Postpone Uniting

May first also marks International Worker's Day.  A local spokesman said that the workers of the world will not unite today, but will wait until warmer weather, possibly as early as next week.

Fragments of Ancient Stone Henge Found in Area

Pieces of stone discovered in Monona County are believed to be the remnants of an ancient monument.  If verified, it would prove the existence of a nomadic heathen tribe that settled in the area over 2500 years ago, according to Perry Fard, High Priest and Recording Secretary of the Monona County Pagan Bureau.

One of two henge pieces uncovered.

Two large pieces of the henge were unearthed by a field cultivator Sunday, April 28th while preparing a local farm for planting.  The stones were found near the site of a primeval well.

Samples of the stone have been taken to a remote location for carbon dating and additional analysis. Local nuts paranormal investigators are referring to the discovery as "Gumbo Henge".

The site of the well itself has been the subject of both scientific and occult speculation since its original discovery.  The area around the well will not support the growing of crops, but yearly has produced only weeds, perhaps due to a primordial curse.