Sioux City Pre-Intelligencer: King Translation

About the Congressman Steve King Interpretation Project

Steve King, Iowa's Fourth District Congressman, is often quoted in the media and, unfortunately, many of his statements are initially viewed as racist or incoherent.

It is the goal of the Congressman Steve King Interpretation Project to translate his statements, revealing the depth of wisdom and integrity of this man.

The Project was started in 2012 by the late Bogo the Wonder Chimp, who was then serving as the Copy Editor and Proofreader for the Sioux City Pre-Intelligencer. After reviewing the text of a King speech, Bogo raised the issue during a staff meeting.

"He can't really mean what he said," Bogo opined. "We owe it to our readers to provide clarity!"

The Project is managed by current P-I staff. Harry Callipygian is the current Director of the Project, aided by Girnt Shpilkes and Julia Klonopin. Nate Frikandellen, P-I's Roving Reporter serves in an "at large" capacity.

Past Efforts of the Project

Western Civilization's Superiority

King: “I would ask you to go back through history and figure out where are these contributions that have been made by these other categories of people that you are talking about, where did any other subgroup of people contribute more to civilization? Than — than western civilization itself that's rooted in western Europe, eastern Europe and the United States of America, and every place where Christianity settled the world. That's all of western civilization."

Interpretation: In this statement, King was referring to his own donations to the Kiron, Iowa Public Library. Since the beginning of his term in the House, King has donated the volumes "Mein Kampf", "The Protocols of the Elders of Zion", and "Pepe the Frog's Fun-time Coloring Book."

Immigration

King: "For everyone who's a valedictorian, there's another 100 out there that weigh 130 pounds and they’ve got calves the size of cantaloupes because they're hauling 75 pounds of marijuana across the desert."

Interpretation: King is endorsing exercise and a balanced diet (including regular portions of fruit) as the key to a healthy life.

Marriage Equality

King: "I had a strong, Christian lawyer tell me yesterday that, under this decision that he has read, what it brings about is: It only requires one human being in this relationship—that you could marry your lawnmower with this decision. I think he's right."