"Huber" Ride-sharing Service Opens in Onawa

By Nate Frikandellen - Roving Reporter

Modeled on services like Uber and Lyft, a new ride-sharing service has been launched in Onawa, Iowa.

President and CEO, Ferd Huber, made the announcement today at Dan's Pizza to a crowd of several.

The service, named "Huber" in honor of its founder, has a slightly different business model from its larger competitors.

"Anybody who needs a ride in Monona County can give me a call," explained Huber.  "I expect payment upfront, and it might take a little time for me to get around to you."

"My F-150 needs a lot of work.  Off the top of my head, I'd say a new alternator, a head gasket, a brake job, and a new windshield should take care of it."

"Oh, yeah. The transmission has been making funny noises lately."

Customers who pay Ferd for the service will go on a list, and he plans to start fulfilling rides just as soon as the pickup gets out of the shop.

"Anyone who donates $100 or more will get a free ride to anywhere within the Onawa city limits," Huber added.  "Just make sure you bring gas money."

Boy Presents Trump With Major Award

by Nate Frikandellen, Roving Reporter

Only a day after receiving a gift of a Purple Heart from a retired lieutenant colonel, Donald Trump received another unearned award from a young supporter.

Tommy Lichen of Kennebec, presented Trump with his Participation Award from the Turin Elementary School Civics Bee.

“I said to him, 'Is that like the real one, or is that a copy?” the Republican nominee said moments after taking the stage at a local community center.

Tommy replied that it was a copy. Tommy had placed eleventh out of twelve in Mrs. Gladstone's 4th grade class in the 2016 school Civics Bee.

Trump said, 'Man, that’s like big stuff. I always wanted to get a Participation Award," Trump said. "This was much easier than studying the constitution and American History and stuff.”

"You know, the Federal Trade Commission oversees the Presidential Elections," added Trump. "I'm going to ask them to hand out Participation Awards this year."



(the FTC does not oversee elections;  this is the responsibility of the Federal Election Commission, ed.)