Has this ever happened to you?
You can avoid this kind of embarrassment by getting your very own certificate in United States Constitutional Law from Bookmark University.*
Bookmark University offers the least expensive certificates of any institution offering degrees in Constitutional Law. To apply, simply send $20.00 along with the following application to:
Shpilkes Discount Marketing and
Dean of Students
Application for Admission
Certificate Program in Constitutional Law
Answer these five easy questions:
1. The original writers of the U.S. Constitution are known as:
a. The Founding Fathers
b. The Foundling Fathers
c. The Fondling Fathers
2. Which of the following is a Latin phrase often used in Supreme Court Dissents?
a. Cave Canum
b. Jiggery-Pokery
c. Rackum-Frackum
3. There are nine apples. If Bob has five of them, he has ____________ of apples.
a. A bunch
b. Barely a majority
c. A majority
4. Which is a common literary technique used in writing Supreme Court Dissents?
a. Passive Aggression
b. Pouting
c. Crying over spilled milk
d. All of the above
5. The First Amendment guarantees:
a. Freedom of speech
b. Freedom from contradiction
c. The Freedom to make crap up
Please note: The application form is also your final exam, so neatness counts. With a your valid check, cash, or money order and at least one correct answer, we will send you your certificate, delivered by a uniformed employee of the U.S. Government.
* Offer only valid in the United States of American, and only in states that do not allow gay marriage.
