Nation Faces "Iowa Levels of Disaster" After SCOTUS Gay Marriage Ruling

by Sarah Anchorage, Exclusive to the 
Pre-Intelligencer

Republican Candidates, Right-wing Pundits, and Fox News Analysts (redundant - Ed.) have all predicted disaster for the United States in light of the Supreme Court Ruling in Obergefell v. Hodges that marriage of same-sex couples is protected under the United States Constitution.

To get a sense of the trouble ahead, one need only look at the Iowa experience.

The Iowa Supreme Court ruled for marriage equality on April 3, 2009 in Varnum V. Brien.  Since that ruling, the state has been plagued with a long list of catastrophes, including:

1. Flooding of the Missouri River in 2011
2. Under-funding of Iowa Public Schools during several legislative sessions
3. Cancellation of the Iowa Republican Straw Poll due to lack of candidate interest
4. A general decrease in the prices of corn and soybeans
5. A 8% drop in the value of farmland
6. Melting of the butter cow at the Iowa State Fair
7. Prolonged closure of the bridge across the Monona-Harrison Drainage Ditch
8. Re-election of Congressman Steve King -- three times!