Few Injuries, Only Two Missing During Successful Bicycle Event

Riders at the starting line for SUXPIALDBRATB.

by Flain Douglas, Factotum



Neither threatening skies, bone fractures, nor pitiable ignorance could dampen the spirits of the twenty-thousand cyclists who were on hand for this year's Sioux City Pre-Intelligencer Annual Labor Day Bicycle Ride Around the Block.

The 2018 SUXPIALDBRATB was hosted by the city of Onawa, Iowa and  attracted cyclists from as far away as Pisgah and Smithland.

The "Farthest Traveled" award went to a D. Daniel from Longmont, Colorado, who rode in the Seniors Group.

This year's route began at the corner of Marble and 11th Streets, proceeding clockwise to 12th Street and North to Diamond.  Riders then went East to 11th, then back to Marble.

At this writing, only two riders are unaccounted for, and police believe they are missing.

Only one major mishap was recorded, when three hundred of the riders collided head-on with the pack on Diamond Street between 12th and 11th.  Officials attributed the accident to confusion about the concepts of "clock-wise" and "counter clock-wise."

Injuries were minor, limited to minor road rash and hurt feelings.  Most injuries were treated with Neosporin.

Plans are already being formed for next year's ride, to be hosted by Turin.

UPDATE:  Police report that the missing riders have been found.  The two members of Team KYBO mistakenly made a turn down the alley between 11th and 12th Streets and spent most of the afternoon at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Perry Fard watching television.

UPDATE 2:  It was earlier reported that D. Daniel from Longmont, Colorado rode in the Seniors Group.  In fact, he was entered in the "Late Middle-Age" Group.