Blizzard "Steveking" Smashes Into Western Iowa

Originally named Blizzard "Ragnarok" by the National Weather Service, this weekend's storm has been renamed "Steveking."

Area Manager Chetery Pyatt spoke on behalf of NOAA:

"We thought the name change was appropriate, since initial reports were overly hyped, created disproportionate levels of fear, and ultimately were found to lack any substance."

Pyatt added: "If "Steveking" does produce anything this weekend, we're sure it will be white."

In related news, Macy's Parade Balloon Rush Limbaugh says weather forecasts are a liberal conspiracy.  

Orange City Native to Audition for Ladysmith Black Mambazo Touring Company

by Nate Frikandellen, Roving Reporter

Chad Frikandellen, a native of Orange City, Iowa, is heading to New York to audition for one of the touring companies of the musical group, "Ladysmith Black Mambazzo."

Chad is a 2013 graduate of the Northwestern College School of Performing Arts.  In addition to several appearances as "Ensemble Member", Chad's featured roles at Northwestern included "Boy" in Waiting for Godot, "Young Cowboy" in Oklahoma, and "Third Bath Attendant" in The Persecution and Assassination of Jean-Paul Marat as Performed by the Inmates of the Asylum of Charenton Under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade.

ISIS Cancels Fall, Winter Meetings

Local Announcements

The Iowa Symposium on Interfaith Studies has cancelled all remaining meetings for calendar year 2014.

Group to Present Travelogue

ISIL, the Ida Grove Society for Inter-species Love, will be presenting a slide show chronicling the group's recent trip to Scotland.

The presentation will be narrated by Kenny Halter and is entitled "McTavish, the Sheepish Farmer."

Siouxland "Faint Praise" Awards

by Flain Douglas, Staff Factotum

The 2014 Siouxland "Faint Praise" Awards Ceremony was held Saturday evening at the Stockyards Convention Center Annex Shed.

Third Place Award: The Salix Chateau

"Best ski slopes in the Missouri River Valley"

Second Place Award: Representative Steve King

"Best Congressman in Iowa's Fourth District"

First Place Award:  Hy-Vee Bagels

"Best bagels in Sioux City"

Town Braces for Militarization, Breakfast

by Flain Douglas, Factotum

The militarization of city police forces has become the latest "hot button" issue in the United States.  No community, large or small, is immune, as citizens of Blencoe, Iowa recently discovered.

Under the Department of Defense Excess Property Program (DoD 1033), the Blencoe police force has been provided with surplus military equipment for use in local law enforcement.

The materials arrived at 10:00 a.m., delivered by a uniformed representative of the United Parcel Service. Mayor Rusty Collison accepted the equipment on behalf of the town in a small ceremony last Friday.

As part of DoD 1033, Blencoe has received a pallet of "Cheesy Omelet" Meals Ready to Eat (MREs) and two entrenching tools.

Mayor Collison presented one of the tools to the wife of Blencoe's Chief of Police, Mrs. Rusty Collison.

In a brief speech, Mayor Collison stated, "With great power, comes great responsibility."

Blencoe Community Center to Host Breakfast Fundraiser

The Blencoe Sunrise Club will host a community breakfast this coming Sunday.  Funds raised by the breakfast will be dedicated to the construction of new sidewalks, replacing those mistakenly torn up last week.

The menu includes:

• A Cheesy Omelet
• Side of Fruit Cocktail
• Crackers
• Spread
• Dessert
• Skittles
• Beverages - Gatorade-like drink mixes, coffee, tea (choice of one)
• Hot sauce
• Flameless Ration Heater (not for consumption)
• Accessories - may include spoon, matches, creamer, sugar, salt, chewing gum, toilet paper, etc.

In addition to the delicious meal, the Sunrise Club will hold a raffle. First prize: a camping shovel!

P-I Announces Sporadic Return

by Sarah Anchorage-Second Assistant Editor-in-Chief

The Sioux City Pre-Intelligencer is proud to announce our return to publication on an intermittent basis. During the next few months, we will be publishing news important to Siouxland, as we are able.

Although our permanent offices at the Old Factory Business park are still not available, we look forward to returning as soon as we get the go-ahead from Sioux City Animal Control.

In the meantime, we are publishing from several Siouxland locations, including Starbucks, the Winnevegas Casino in Sloan, and the Blencoe Public Library.  If the news is urgent, we plan to park outside Mayor Flannel's home, since he still has an unsecured WiFi router.

You may see our "newsmobile" in your neighborhood.  Look for Flain Douglas in his lime green 1967 Plymouth Belvidere with the "George McGovern for President" bumper sticker.

Operating With Reduced Staff

Unfortunately, we are operating with a "bare bones" staff during this time. Flain Douglas (Staff Factotum), Beth Peterson (VP-Human Resources) and I will keep the journal running as smoothly as we can.

Many of our other staff members are looking for work.  To keep up to date with "the gang", please visit our "Where Are They Now?" page.

We appreciate your patience during this time of transition, and we pledge to make the Pre-Intelligencer the quality publication we hope some day to be.

P-I Temporarily Suspends Publication

The Sioux City Pre-Intelligencer has been forced to suspend publication temporarily.

The suspension was necessitated by a structural analysis of our building at the Old Factory Business Park which determined the building to be unsound.

The Landlord has been notified and is in the process of addressing the structural issues.  We anticipate this temporary suspension to be temporary or shorter.

Other firms at the building will also be affected, including the Hoof & Claw nail salon, Adequate Tax Preparation Services, and Sorenson's Yoga and Chiropractic Center.

We regret this inconvenience, and look forward to resuming publication when these issues are resolved.