Mormons Baptize Lehman Brothers, Others

It was revealed yesterday that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (LDS) has secretly baptized Lehman Brothers and Bear Stearns.

LDS Temple, Sioux Falls

The practice of baptizing the dead into the Mormon faith has come under fire recently, when it was disclosed that Anne Frank and Mahatma Ghandi were among many who have been posthumously baptized by the Church.

It is believed that this is the first time the Mormons have baptized corporations.

A leading spokesman for the Church said, "Corporations are people, my friend." He went on to explain, "It follows that dead corporations are dead people and that makes them fair game for baptism."

Lehman Brothers and the Bear Stearns Companies both went bankrupt in 2008.