Callista Gingrich, wife of Republican Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich, has been confined to bed with a slight head cold. Long hours on the campaign trail amidst throngs of her husband's supporters have taken their toll: Mrs. Gingrich awoke this morning complaining of a slight headache, a sore throat, and sniffles.
Upon receiving the news of his wife's illness, Gingrich immediately announced that he was back on the market. "I was in my office and on match.com in a heartbeat," proclaimed Gingrich.
Gingrich left his first wife while she was recovering from cancer surgery and his second after she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.
"We don't want to downplay the seriousness of Callista's condition. I know that the media has been calling this a common cold, but, in fact, this is a rhinovirus; a medical threat that costs the United States over $7.7 billion dollars a year. There is no known cure for Mrs. Gingrich's disease."
When pressed about his near-term plans, Gingrich noted that the next Republican debate isn't scheduled until February 22nd, leaving him plenty of free time to update his online profile.
Still, ex-Speaker Gingrich knows that, in romance as in politics, timing is the priority.
"There are four caucuses in the next week, but I'll leave those to the Super PAC," said Gingrich.
"I've got to focus on Valentine's Day."
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