Dolphin Intelligence Questioned in New Study

A new study has cast doubt on the intelligence of dolphins.

A team of grad students in the Northwestern College (Orange City) Department of Oceanology published their findings in the most recent issue of The Iowa Journal of Non-Controversial Science.

To explore dolphin communications, the team developed headgear with electronic interfaces that would allow the dolphins to participate in social media.  Outfitting 25 dolphins with the devices, the first phase of their study focused on the use of Twitter.

Assistant Associate Professor Van Vander Vandyke was the faculty sponsor of the project.

"Frankly, we were surprised at the results.  While other studies have reinforced the theory of advanced dolphin intelligence, when we looked at the Tweets, we realized we were dealing with some pretty dumb animals."

An edited selection of the dolphin tweets:

@skweekie528

im not a racist but why do those flippin tuna think they need to come to our school they stink #gobackwhereyoucamefrom

@zipper4eva17

my bro was on facebk and he got a social decease #safetextingrules

@wetwillie42

amazing the ocean is 2014 years old now  #seapartypatriots

@dinnerroll2

i hate those sharks they have dorsal fins the size of can of lopes #kingin2014

@redy2party15

howcom its always marytime and never janicetime #thanksobama